Jokes, poems, songs and generally things that make us laugh are all here to be enjoyed if you have anything you think will make us chuckle let us have them and we will see what we can do.

ODE TO MICK Whilst walking about in Polperro One glorious summer’s day, Mick slipped on the ancient cobbles And there in great agony lay. A crowd sympathetic soon gathered To gaze at the stricken lad, A medic examined the damage, His news was not good – it was Bad. “Most likely it is bad fracture Of that I have little doubt The poor chap’s in a lot of pain We will have to move him out.” “But we’re at the bottom Of a steep and narrow slope, And he is so big and heavy So we haven’t got a hope.” Up spake the village idiot. “I know what to do, Strap him to a surfboard And float him round to Looe.” “There the coastline is different The beaches are level and dry We’ll haul him ashore – no problem To an ambulance waiting nearby.” “You can’t do that,” said someone, “He’s bound to come a cropper, Notify the coastguards, I know they’ve got a Chopper.” At last arrived the ‘copter, “It’s here,” All loudly roared. Down a line came a crewman And Mick was whisked safely aboard. As they made their way to Truro, Mick said “don’t think I’m a chump, But when we get to the Hospital Do you land or do I jump?” Mick’s now on the mend thank goodness And soon will be hearty and hale, He has Bridget to care and nurse him, His own Florence Nightingale. So welcome ye back to our number, We bid you good health and good cheer And next time you go to Poperro Take a Zimmer and lay off the beer. Derek Crocker

PARACHUTIST SONGS                                             FROM WW II                                                        And I ain't going to jump no more                      Is everybody happy said the sergeant looking up                      Our hero feebly answered "Yes" and then they hooked him up,                      He jumped into the slipstream, and he twisted twenty times,                      And he ain't going to jump no more.          Chorus                      Glory glory what a hell of a way to die,                      Glory glory what a hell of a way to die,                      Glory glory what a hell of a way to die,                      And he ain't going to jump no more.                      He counted loud , he counted long and waited for the shock                      He felt the wind, he felt  the air, he felt that awful drop,                      He pulled his lines, the silk came down and wrapped around his legs                      And he ain't going to jump no more.              Chorus                      The days he lived and loved and laughed kept running through his mind                      He thought about the medics and wondered what they would find,                      He thought about the girl back home, the one he left behind.                      And he ain't going to jump no more.              Chorus                      The lines all wrapped around his neck, the D rings broke his dome,                      His lift webs wrapped themselves in knots around each skinny bone,                      His canopy became his shroud as he hurtled to the ground ,                      And he ain't going to jump no more.              Chorus                      The ambulance was on the spot, the jeeps were running wild,                      The medics, they clapped their hands and rolled their sleeves and smiled,                      For it had been a week or more ,since last a chute had failed,                      And he ain't going to jump no more.              Chorus                  He hit the ground, the sound was "splat", the blood went spurting high,                      His pals were heard to say "Oh what a lovely way to die",                      They rolled him up still in his chute, and poured him from his boots,                      And he ain't going to jump no more.              Chorus                     There was blood upon his lift webs, there was blood upon his chute,                      Blood that came a trickling from his paratrooper boots,                     And there he lay like jelly in the welter of his gore,                      And he ain't going to jump no more.              Chorus